Online Etiquette - Dealing with 'hate'

July 07, 2014

This is a difficult and interesting topic to cover, I wanted to talk about online 'hate' and negativity, how to deal with is and the correct online etiquette we should all try to follow.


This post was inspired by a video that the beautiful Kassie of Cloudy Apples released a week or two ago, I'll link it here if you'd like to go watch. (I think you should)

For those of you who don't know: Kassie is a Green Beauty You Tube super star, she is very knowledgeable and her videos are as flawless as her features. Her editing style is always on point and the content of her video is always very interesting and helpful.


Kassie released a video which she called ''Modest' Swimwear look book' - notice the word modest in quotation marks to show that this word has different meanings to different people and that one person may consider a one piece a cover up, others may consider it obscene! 


Screenshot from the video
The comments section of this video made for a very interesting read. The majority of the comments praised Kassie for her beautiful body, saying that she inspires them to eat better and exercise more, some comments bemoaned their 'unfit' bodies that were nothing like Kassie's and some complained that the swim wear was not modest enough.

The main comment that caught my eye (so much so that I felt the need to respond to it) was this:


"Fake Boobs. Say they're not but seriously who you fooling?" ...And this got 14 'thumbs up' 


I just had to respond, I'm pleased to say my response got EIGHTY TWO thumbs up so more people agree with me than random-negative-nasty-girl. 


I think it is important to respond to hate with 'love', don't stoop to their level, stay positive, don't make your response personal. A bit of humour helps as well (see Terry's replies to comments - what a guy). The trouble with 'the internet' is when people do respond to 'haters' they reply with an equally nasty attitude, this is no better than the first comment.


With all that in mind (but anger in my heart) I said, "This is a nice channel and community, we don't accept judgemental and rude comments here... off you go please! (Before you go check out her 'don't be a hater' video) p.s. personally I don't care if they're 'fake' or not those boobs look great."


Screenshot from the video
Firstly, what business of hers is it if Kassie's boobs are surgically enhanced or not?
Secondly, what does it matter? It's a personal choice that one is entitled to make.
Thirdly, if Kassie say's they're all real (which she has) then why would someone think they knew better? (I think Kassie would know if she got surgery or not). 
Fourthly, there are much nicer ways to get your point across.
Finally, why go out of your day to spread negativity and hate like that?

Personally I am pretty miffed that Kassie got brains, beauty and a beautiful body (slim with boobs? Not fair!) but I channel that into positivity instead of negativity and jealousy. I commented on her video: (knowing that her hilarious boyfriend Terry was replying to comments that day)


"Yet another brilliant video, of course! Loved the suits, the editing style... and your gorgeous figure that shows what eating right and exercising will do for you... A poster girl for clean and healthy living if I ever saw one :-) 

P.s. Hi Terry... you lucky so and so, Kassie is beautiful inside and out :-) I'm sure she's lucky to have you too, you seem like a great and very funny guy :-)"

Screenshot from the video
I know the difference a positive comment can make to a YouTuber, when I get lovely comments I remember them, I hold onto them and appreciate that someone has taken a portion of time out of their day to say something nice to me. 

I TRY to ignore the not so nice one, luckily I haven't had many which is amazing considering I have nearly 2,000 subscribers.


The truth is you can't please everyone, nor should you try to. But how do you deal with 'hate'? I try to delete it and forget about it - the first part is easy, the second part not so much. I have a strict two strike policy, one bad comment gets deleted and the second one gets you blocked. I think every blogger/youtuber/tweeter should have this policy and the Negative Nancy's would soon have no where to spread their doom and gloom!


Screenshot from the video
What do you guys think? Have you experienced negativity or hatred? How did you deal with it? What about you as a reader and commenter? Have you ever written something that wasn't very positive or nice?

I was always told (by my Nan and Disney) 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'. I think this needs to be the policy on the internet too... why are the rules different on line to real life? Would random-negative-nasty-girl gone up to Kassie in the street and said, 'you've got fake boobs haven't you? You say they're not but I reckon they are'. How ridiculous! Of course she wouldn't! Why is okay online? I say 'okay' because it is such a wide spread practice. 


A whole generation of children and young adults are growing up with the internet playing a huge part of their lives yet they are not learning/being taught the correct etiquette.


Personally I will be making sure that my daughter understands that her words have an impact regardless if they are delivered face to face or online.


What are your thoughts on this? What can be done to change things?



P.s. This post was great excuse to include lots of pictures of he gorgeous Kassie! How stunning is she?!

Information: 
This post does not include any products sent for consideration.
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All opinions are honest and my own, any suggestions made are based on my own experiences and are meant as a guide. Please always take care when making any DIY products and patch test to rule out an adverse reaction.

10 comments:

  1. Great post and I watched the video .. this gal looks f a b u l o u s .. and negative comments always equals - jealousy.


    Monica, www.pear-shaped-gal.com

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  2. Aw, she is stunning! It's sad when people feel the need to share their negativity in those ways. Thanks for sharing and highlighting a new youtube account to check out! x

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  3. She really is stunning isn't she! And her youtube channel is amazing! :-)

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  4. Agreed, it must come from somewhere dark and irrational - jealousy is about the darkest and most irrational emotion we experience. Thanks for reading! :-)

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  5. I love that and totally agree, the best revenge is success! So true! :-) thanks for reading x

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  6. couldnt agree more, going to watch this vid now (dont know how i missed it)

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  7. where do I even begin on this issue lol....thankfully my experience with hate has been shortlived as the bullies get bored. I've been called fat a few times on my YouTube channel but I just ignore & move on, I'm well aware I'm overweight I don't see why people feel the need to point it out lol. There are obviously some people out there with very dull and uninteresting lives which makes me sad for them. I personally think we should ignore them because responding just fuels the attention and that is what they are desperate for. I do need to check out Kassie's channel as I don't follow :)

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  8. yes, this is an interesting topic on a personal level for us both! Luckily the worst I've had so far is that my glasses are wonky... which they are!! haha! I look in the mirror and they are straight but when I come to edit the video they are squiffy!! why?! lol. I think it adds character ;-)
    I wonder what goes through someone's head when they write a rude comment?? Do they get some weird enjoyment out of it I wonder?
    I do think that ignoring them and rising above is the best strategy... I'm just too petty and feel the need to get my point across too!! haha! I'm working on that though :-)

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  9. Loved this article! I watched Kassie's video and the only thing I could think of was "wow she's beautiful!" I don't know why there is such a need for hate. I've been playing around with starting a youtube channel of my own but sometimes I just think that I don't want to subject myself to negativity!

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