Finding The New Perfect, Making Your Own Happiness

October 17, 2014

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" - Dumbledore


If you'd asked me 4 months ago for three words to describe my life I would of said, "happy, family and perfect". Then, 3 months ago, and completely out of the blue my husband left my daughter and I.

I was left reeling and confused with a young child to care for and a new, daunting life to face on my own.

I stayed strong, I amazed my friends and family with how I continued on with 'normal' life... to be honest I even amazed myself. I felt, if possible, even closer to Maddie, a new and renewed appreciation and love for her and our bond is now stronger than ever.

I decided that as I could not change my situation I needed to try and make the best out of it, I used all my strength to create and find a new kind of happiness, one that didn't involve Maddie's dad.

This morning I had a break through. I realised that I have found a new kind of perfect; a new version of the happy, family life I was mourning after my husband left.

Maddie came into my room this morning and we had sleepy, warm cuddles in bed together. We had breakfast at the table watching and talking about the guinea pigs, playing eye spy and giggling at silly things. We got ready for school on time and without a frantic rush (rare but can happen) then we enjoyed a sunny but chilly walk to school, with more talking, laughing and silliness. 

I realised that Maddie is my light in dark times, she gives me strength, hope and a renewed belief in a love that is all consuming and will last for a whole lifetime. 

While it breaks my heart a little bit to drop her off at school it also makes me so proud of the strong and beautiful little lady she is. Hopefully one day she will understand the strength I have found from her and her love.

14 comments:

  1. Oh Rach I'm getting all emosh over here. I admire your strength, I have another friend in a similar situation and your outlooks on your new life are very much the same. You are doing brilliantly :D

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  2. You have been an inspiration, really I mean it! I can't imagine how tough it has been. But from a girl who was brought up by a single Mum, all I know is that you are doing brilliantly and you have a little bestie by your side who will grow up to know how strong and wonderful you are. Lots of love x

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  3. Yup - tears.
    I think you are doing amazingly well, your outlook on life so positive that you can overcome anything. Maddie is going to have her own questions when she is old enough but she is going to be able to look back at this time and know how strong her Mum was and you'll know that it was her that got you through. X

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  4. This brought tears to my eyes. As a Mama myself, I'm not sure how you dig deep enough to carry on in the face of something like this. But you have. You have indeed found the light in the darkness and little Maddie has been at your side every step of the way. You are indeed an inspiration and I hope when you look back on this moment in say a year's time you will find a real peace once more. Sending you a big virtual hug xx

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  5. Ahhh Rachel :'( such a beautifully written post! You are such a strong, independent person & Maddie will be so proud of you in years to come when she looks back on this hard time! Can't wait to see you next week & give you massive hug :D xx

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  6. Such a wonderful, heartfelt post. My heart goes out to you & Maddie and I am so very proud and impressed by you both. Lots of love and luck for the future!xx

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  7. Ooh Rach what a lovely post<3 I got chills! You're doing amazingly and although I don't really know you, I'm super proud of you! Good luck beautiful xx

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  8. Super well done miss!!! Happiness always lies ahead…don't look back! x

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  9. That brought me to tears, such a gorgeous post. I've thought about you a lot in the last few months and admire your strength and positivity :) You're superwoman. Love xxx

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  10. You're handling this tough situation with such dignity and strength, and it's beyond admirable. Reading your beautiful post warms my heart, and I wish Maddie and you, all the very best <3

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  11. Marie@Bloom Remedies21 October 2014 at 09:04

    Beautiful words and emotions, and amazing how quickly you've got to where you are right now . Well done lovely, you're amazing, and the little person you are helping create is amazing too. They really teach us as much as we teach them I think. Keep strong and have a hug from me :) xx

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  12. Thanks so much for the support Marie. It's so true they do teach us so much xx

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  13. Thank you Liz, what amazingly kind words xx

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  14. Thanks Kate, I'm not sure I deserve admiration but I appreciate your words and support xx

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