When you just don't quite fit in...

December 07, 2015

It starts at school and I don't think it ever ends. 

Girls, women, people in general gravitate towards other, like minded people and form friendships... nothing wrong with that at all, unless you are left out of this and it feels like you are outside of the clique.

What's worse is when you were once part of that group and now you are not. There can be a whole host of reasons why this happens, some harder to deal with and understand than others.

It's really unpleasant when you are in a social situation that cannot be avoided (i.e. at work) and you are outside of the 'group'. You are not included in the chats... or worse still you are the topic of them. It can happen online as well, maybe you don't feel a part of the online community that once seemed so welcoming and friendly.


The trouble is there is often a ringleader - someone who is the most liked, respected or (often times) the loudest and they set the tone. If they decide that they are not keen on you any more or you dare to question them/their authority then you can find yourself on the end of (at best) a cold shoulder or (at worst) some real nastiness.

Usually if you are the subject of their dislike it is because you pose some kind of imagined 'threat' to them.

It's very hard when you feel like you don't fit in, there is no magic cure and unfortunately it seems to be a fact of life, no matter how old you get. I see it with my mum and her 'friends' sometimes - grown women who are grandparents(!) still acting like nasty teenagers. These kind of toxic people are best avoided where ever possible.

How do you deal with this kind of situation? Ideally you remove yourself from it, put some distance between you and the person/group/thing that is making you feel low. What if you can't? Either because it involves your family, your passion or your work? I guess all you can do is rise above it and enjoy the other parts of your life that don't feature this kind of pettiness or exclusion. 

In short; try your best to ignore it, try to avoid it and find comfort elsewhere from people who you trust and enjoy the company of.


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All opinions are honest and my own, any suggestions made are based on my own experiences and are meant as a guide. Please always take care when making any DIY products and patch test to rule out an adverse reaction.

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